What to do when times are tough.

I have been struck by how hard this current downturn is for a particular group of people. The people I have in mind have been tucked somewhere in the tail end of the so called old economy and now after years of believing that maybe somewhere there were stable businesses and more importantly believing they were in one of them; they have been hard hit as retail, banking, most forms of manufacturing and especially the auto industry, housing and a host of other sectors tumble and bounce.

In some of the collaborative work that I have been doing with two different groups; one for IT people who have lost their jobs, the other for people who are already struggling financially and are now seeing their fortunes take an even harder downward turn; it is clear that two distinct practices make a difference in the resiliency and effectiveness of the individuals facing their particular tough times.

First, those individuals who are managing the best have made maintaining old relationships and building new ones a DAILY practice. This is not a matter of mercenary or opportunistic networking. It is simply understanding and valuing the essential truth of each of our needs for relationships. No matter what else is going on, those who manage tough times keep connected to others in relationships that offer the opportunity to both receive and give.

Second, those individuals who are managing the best have a taken great notice of the things they have to be thankful for, they make gratitude a DAILY practice. There are neurobiological, psychological and spiritual reasons why this works which I will not go into here. What I will say is that those who pay attention to what is working, what they have to be thankful for, what others have done for them; stand a MUCH better chance of seeing opportunities when they arise and they have a much better ability to leave others with a positive impression.

To paraphrase systems leadership expert, Rabbi Edwin Friedman, it is about being who you are, focusing on your deepest values and maintaining a “non-anxious presence.”

Staying connected to important relationships and adding new ones, making a practice of seeing the good news in life even in its smallest examples and being a non-anxious presence for others and with your self will not fix the large problems but it will give you a way of proceeding in facing the day to day, hour to hour, moment to moment challenges you face.